On the first day of Christmas I was
surprised to receive in the post…
Twelve best of Drum and Bass CDs,
Eleven vaping pipes,
Ten LEGO models of the House of Lords,
Nine ladies tasteless Christmas jumpers,
Eight Maid Marian cosplay outfits,
Seven boxes of Swan filter tips,
Six Wild Geese DVDs,
Five Ex- Ratners gold rings
Four calling bird ring tones
Three roasted French hens
Two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Doves and
A signed photo of Alan Partridge.
That’s the last time I do the Christmas shopping on Amazon when I’m drunk.