There’s a Message in my Sandwiches

When we first got together
you wrapped my sandwiches in foil.

I’d gently run my thumb down the metal
With a soft pressure.
Imagining I was running it down the back of your neck.
Then I’d part the foil, peeling it away slowly
Like I would the dress from your shoulders.

Next I’d take a tiny scrap of foil
Reverently place it on my tongue
Running it around my mouth relishing
the electric shock,
Reminding me of when my lips used to touch
The nape of your neck.

Now you wrap my sandwiches in cellophane.

A clammy body bag, sweaty to the touch.
I would try not to flinch away from it
Like when I accidently brush against your skin.

A cheap covering that can’t disguise what’s within.
Easily see through like the lies and promises I make.
Grasped at it tears easily, falling apart as we are doing now.


Nobody Told Me We Had Wine

I should have put the dinner in the oven on time,
I should have got the washing in off the line,
I should have tried to make words rhyme,
But nobody told me we had wine.

Now the grape has me firmly in its grasp,
Alcohol has my brain tightly clasped,
My liver surfaces for one last gasp,
As I empty another wine glass.

So I dedicate tonight to drowning my sorrow,
Glad that my legs seem quite hollow,
My jobs to hell in a hand cart can go,
After all there’s always tomorrow.

Blue Mocha

My mocha should be chocolate brown
Instead it seems to me to be blue.
It should comfort me on this cold day,
Instead it just reminds me of you.

Because to me it just tastes bitter,
Each time I raise it to my lips.
Its warmth on my mouth stings,
Reminding me of our last kiss.

So that is why my mocha’s blue,
It’s because of you my dear.
You’ve given it a sad aftertaste,
The salty sting of my tears.


Happy International Day of Happiness

Happy International Day of Happiness, here’s a poem I first wrote in 2011 that still stands true for me today. Apologies to the Sound of Music!

Mayo on chips and strong real ale pints,
New Dr Who and buses arriving on time.
Parcels from Ebay all tied up with string,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Chicken kebabs and strong mocha coffee,
Clean public toilets and treacle toffee.
Pushing my daughter on her new swing,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Time off work and weekends that go slow,
Rainy days so the lawn I can’t mow.
Freshly cooked beer-battered onion rings
These are a few of my favourite things.

When my internet’s down
When my alarm rings
When I’m feeling sad.
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I don’t feel so bad.

I’m not a Tosser – a poem for Pancake Day


click for best quality picture and enjoy your pancakes.



Toblerone for breakfast this morning.
It’s only 7:25 am,
But I deserve it.
You see if the world ends soon
(At least that’s what I’m being told.)
I thought, “what the hell,
Shredded Wheat won’t do it today.”

I munch contentedly.
Happy that if
The UK sinks into the sea.
Then at least I will die
With the taste of chocolate on my lips.
Besides which,
It’s too early for a beer.

The Cautionary Tale of Little Ben


Little Ben should have paid more attention,
When he was alone in detention.
Then he would never have been laid low,
From behind by a deadly ladle blow.

You see because of savage cuts to funds,
His canteen had nothing to serve but crumbs.
So if the meals were going to continue,
Little Ben had to go on to the menu.

So Ben became sausages and pies,
Milkshakes were flavoured with his eyes.
Cuts of him in pickle were preserved,
While his kneecaps with custard were served.

His tongue was very neatly removed,
Then used to garnish a tasty stew.
His kidneys became taramasalata,
While his toes were turned into chipolatas.

His feet were deep-fried in his socks,
Then his buttocks made into divine chops.
His calves were basted in organic cider,
While his fingernails became appetizers.

So don’t be like little Ben, pay attention,
If you’re left alone in detention.
Then quickly home you can run,
Perhaps to become a vegetarian?



Fish and Chips by guest poet Matt Humphries

Matt Humphries

I want fish and chips
First of all let’s share a kiss
As we sit on the sofa
Tender moment’s enveloping

But first I want fish and chips
As we sit in the flat
Linked together arm in arm
Making new memories
Like a sweet chocolate bar

Let’s have fish and chips
My tummy is rumbling
Amongst all the fumbling
Our song blares out
Like a statement of intent

We need to have fish and chips
I just might need an operation
To be separated from you
A G&T and lager
Like a minute of drama

Are we going to have fish and chips?
The times getting on
The shop will be shut
As we lean in to each other
For the sweetest of touch

Shall we just have some toast?
I don’t want to go out
Cos each moment apart
Is bad for my health.


Thanks Matt for another great poem, here’s his bio

My name is Matt Humphries and I’m a poet from Walsall. I have only been writing poetry for a relatively short space of time, I tend to write in a retrospective way a lot of the time and take my inspiration from things that I see or read. I hope you enjoy this poem. If you have any feedback my email is

Fancy a guest slot then email me at

My Darkish Desire

question mark

Everyday I wake with the taste of you on my tongue
Which fuels my need to see you again.
As I rise I find
My resolve crumbles.
While my brain concocts feeble excuses
To cross your path today.

When we do meet
I’m happy to see you’re ready.
You knew I would come.
Money changes hands, but our eyes don’t meet.
I mumble my name, though you know it,
So never reply.

Your scent teases me
Helping me to wait, as I do everyday.
I long to hold you.
To feel your warmth
Radiate through my hands.
Before our lips lock.

I sense you’re ready.
I raise my eyes.
My heart skips
As my pulse accelerates.
Then I hear the words that make my day,
“Large mocha with sprinkles for Richard.”


Life is like a Bottle of Pop

Bottle of Pop

Life is like a bottle of pop
You can carefully open the top.
Not letting it bubble or go off,
Enjoying it slowly drop by drop.


You can shake it up lots and lots,
Letting it explode and froth.
Enjoying it all at once, don’t stop,
Draining it to the very last drop.