I really don’t like fish, they stink of decay,
a malodorous odour that hangs around,
the ghost of the smell of a fish
contaminating my clothes and polluting my nose.
Even when I’m out fish find a way to annoy me.
In the supermarket they stare,
their cold dead eyes seeming to say,
we died for you and you’re just rudely ignoring us.
It’s a well-known fact that fish ruin chips.
You can fry a piece as much as you want,
you can smother it in crispy batter,
But you can’t hide. That. It’s. Still. A Fish.
Look at those fish with their trout pouts.
they think they’re the epitome of cool.
They want to brag about their trendy omega oils.
news update fish, that’s in tablets now.
Fish I think we will need to compromise.
If you can agree to stay in the sea,
then I will stay on the land,
and I’m sure we’ll both get on fine.
But if for one minute you make like your ancestors,
and you feel the need to walk out of the water.
Then I demand the right to develop gills,
And devolve back into the sea.
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