Are you are allergic to cats?
Not allowed pets in your flat.
Or don’t want to stroke a goat,
Then why not instead adopt a poet?
They’re nearly all house trained,
And always willing to entertain.
Often full of deep, deep thoughts,
With a heavy brow and posh talk.
They never leave the loo seat up,
Never slurp tea from their cup.
They’ll eat whatever you give them,
Behave like ladies or gentlemen.
Of course they steal all your pens,
But it’s too late to complain by then.
As they’ve also pinched your paper,
For a poem they’re going to write later.
If they run out of writing material,
They’ll write anywhere it’s immaterial.
To them that they scrawl on the floor,
On your windows or on the door.
Don’t try to take their pens away,
Else they will get angry and say.
You’re a liar and a cheater,
All in perfect iambic pentameter.
What’s that you’re allergic to poets,
Well wouldn’t you know it.
How sad you can’t give one a home,
I hope they don’t have to be put down.
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