The Cautionary Tale of Little Billy


Little Billy should have paid more attention,
When he was alone in detention.
Then he would never have been laid low,
From behind by a deadly ladle blow.

You see because of savage cuts to funds,
His canteen had nothing to serve but crumbs.
So if the meals were going to continue,
Little Billy had to go on to the menu.

So Billy became sausages and pies,
Milkshakes were flavoured with his eyes.
Cuts of him in pickle were preserved,
While his kneecaps with custard were served.

His tongue was very neatly removed,
Then used to garnish a tasty stew.
His kidneys became taramasalata,
While his toes were turned into chipolatas.

His feet were deep-fried in his socks,
Then his buttocks made into divine chops.
His calves were basted in organic cider,
While his fingernails became appetizers.

So don’t be like little Billy, pay attention,
If you’re left alone in detention.
Then quickly home you can run,
Perhaps to become a vegetarian?



Jessica’s Doll

I’m pleased to announce that I have written a poem which will appear in the soon to be released horror film “Jessica’s Doll” by Walsall film director Andy Simon.

Jessicas Doll Movie Poster

Here’s the film’s chilling plot taken from its Facebook page.

Jessica’s Doll is about a young Girl called Jessica, an orphan and homeless girl who’s only friend is her Doll (Also named Jessica)

Lost and homeless, walking the streets, she comes across her childhood home, and takes shelter inside from a thunderstorm.

She heads to the Cellar and discovers a chest and hides inside away from the storm. The lid closes, the lock clicks, and there she is trapped.

She has one last wish before all the air is used up, before she dies. She wishes she could become a doll like her own…

Here’s the poem which I composed for the start of the movie taken from the introduction Andy had written for the film and turned by him into the excellent picture below. Click to enlarge.

In the film itself the poem is read by Andy’s talented daughter Anya, who also composed the movie’s soundtrack as well.

poem revised final

You can find more about this exciting film on the soon to be launched website here

Or get the latest news via the film’s Facebook page here.

Or follow the film on Twitter here.

I’d just like to take this chance to say massive thanks to Andy for letting me work with him and I hope the film does well – I’ve seen a clip there’s no doubt in my mind that it will.

The Dirty Dozen… with Liesbet Collaert

If your just digesting your lunch or getting up for breakfast, enjoy another scintillating interview from Al

A Certain Point of View

Welcome to another edition of The Dirty Dozen!

This week, I’m delighted to be hosting Liesbet Collaert in the Dirty Dozen “hotseat”.

Liesbet is a blogger, writer and world citizen, currently (quite literally) flying back to the USA after a short visit to Belgium in between global adventures! You can find out more about her travels and her fascinating life in today’s interview HERE!

The Dirty Dozen

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“The DireWolves of Game Of Thrones”

Another great origami piece from Louise

Another Game of Thrones inspired origami today. There is also a video you can view here

This time all 6 have been represented.

Happy Friday ~ Happy folding!

Louise x

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Dreams of a Stuffed Toy Dog

Rufus the Dancing Dog

What do stuffed toy dogs dream about?

Do they imagine felt teeth softly gnawing on foam bones?
Perhaps they dream of padded paws sneaking up on stuffed toy cats?
Maybe their cotton tongue drools over brown corduroy sausages?
Or do they romp on patchwork fields before snoozing on woolen rugs?

It could be their dreams are of simpler things.

They might smile as they snooze thinking of,
Someone who always hugs them tightly like there is no tomorrow.
Or they might be dreaming of the happiness that comes from,
Gazing into the eyes of someone who unconditionally loves them.

An unashamed piece of whimsy dedicated to Rufus, my daughter’s favourite stuffed toy.


Monochrome World


In the wearisome monochrome world
Everything is shades of black and white.
Humankind has been tranquilised
People live out a clockwork life.

They quietly catch dull buses,
Waiting patiently in drizzling rain.
Uncomplaining of grey smog
As they linger for drab trains.

Two-tone uniform policemen
Sedately walk silent beats.
Making people’s muted lives,
Safe on their dingy streets.

Battleship grey homogeneous children
Shuffle softly to granite schools.
They only speak in whispers,
Not one of them plays the fool.

Once the dreary sun sets
In this world of black and white.
People retire to boring bedrooms,
To embrace the hushed night.

They close tired grey eyes,
That with tears start to stream.
As every night in bright colour
They live vicariously in their dreams.

The Dirty Dozen… with Richard Archer!

Al interviews me this week, why not take a look.

A Certain Point of View

Welcome to another edition of The Dirty Dozen!

This week, I’m delighted to be hosting Richard Archer (aka “Skaggy The Poet”) in the Dirty Dozen “hotseat”.

Richard is a poet who blogs and performs on a regular basis as part of the Walsall Poetry Society. He has a poetry book out – – and you can follow more on his blog at –

You can read the interview HERE 

Hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Let me know in the comments if you fancy a turn in the hotseat!:-)

The Dirty Dozen

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